A few days after the tragic September 11 events, two of my friends had lunch together.
One stated how angry he was. The other said, “You know, sometimes anger just covers up sadness.”
I think I’m finally so tired of being angry about politics that all I feel now is the sadness.
Like the amazing Sheriff Dave Ward of Harney County who let us see his breaking heart several times during the Malheur County episode, I’m sad, and I, too, want to ask the question, “How did we get to this point?”
How did we get to a place where significant numbers of Americans don’t trust the government in any way — to the point that they feel justified in taking up arms against that very government?
How have we lost all respect for each other, so that both in person and in the media we can use the crassest, most offensive language in the guise of trying to change each others’ opinions?
How is it that we don’t value the voting process above every other aspect of government and that we don’t appreciate how amazingly well this precious democracy has worked for more than two decades?
When did it become impossible to disagree with civility, rather than dislike, distrust and disrespect?
The incident at Malheur clarified for me how much I value our processes, and I surprised myself at the waves of pride I felt for our democratic legacy. And I suddenly felt shocked that not everyone here appreciates the beautiful and fragile nature of this system.
To those who say that our government has become tyrannical, I ask in what form? Is there any doubt that we are a safe, healthy and productive population with possibly more freedom than any place in the world?
Could you imagine any other government that would have taken such pains to try to find a peaceful and civil resolution to the Malheur standoff?
How did we get to this place, then, where we can barely speak to each other civilly, and where there are those who hate not only the government, but who disparage those with the courage to run for public office?
I often feel that there are parallel universes. I listen to President Obama, and I hear a reasoned, controlled, intelligent voice of a man who is trying to do his best. My friends Mark and Mason listen, and they hear a despot with some nefarious agenda. How can this happen?
In this, my 65th year, I am filled with patriotism so great that I could burst. At the same time, I don’t know how to help us heal so that we once again are one nation, indivisible.
I just know that the anger no longer feels good, and I’ll have to learn to live with the sadness.